But what if I was in charge?-Harry

But what if I was in charge?… There would be free iPhones and iPads and there would be hundreds of cafes and hotels for dogs.Everyone would be happy like they won the lottery and thousands of books would sit in the bookshops, patiently waiting to be bought.There would be numerous, big parks around London and school would be exciting but no-one had to go to school.Houses would be giants and there would be free plane flights were you could travel miles away.You didn’t have to wear uniform to school and everyone would have to help free the world of pollution.

One thought on “But what if I was in charge?-Harry”

  1. Hi Harry,
    This is fantastic! You paint such a vivid picture of the realistic utopia that you (or your narrator) would create. I especially like the personification of the books – they really do feel like they are waiting to be bought, full of promise, on the bookshop shelves! I also really like the idea that school would be a choice, but that it would be exciting – learning is exciting after all (and it keeps being so your whole life).
    I wasn’t sure what you meant by “Houses would be giants”. Was it a typo, or would we live in huge sentient and moving houses? (Sounds cool!) If it was a typo, you may want to double-check your stories before you send them off, as you have also written “were” instead of “where” – easily fixed! You also need to double-check verbs, such as changing “no-one had to” to “no-one would have to go to school”.
    I love that you’ve really thought about how the world would be if you were in charge, and that the big changes you would make would actually benefit everyone, as well as the planet!
    Your sentence structure is very good, as are your vocabulary and punctuation. Keep up the good work!
    All the best,
    Elise (Team 100) – Coventry, UK 🙂

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